When joining a fraternity you expect a lot of benefits to just be thrown at you right when you start pledging, but that’s not how it is at all. Everything that a fraternity gives you is earned and well deserved at that. We have broken down the three best things that a fraternity gives you during your college career. It gives you a brotherhood, intramural sports and the infamous party lifestyle.
When you first join a fraternity you think “A brotherhood? What the hell does that even mean?” As you go through your pledge process and as years go on you start to build a bond with these guys. In the beginning you literally have no idea who the fuck they are. The members in your fraternity are from many different parts of the country and sometimes from outside of the great United States. Brotherhood can mean something different to each person, but this is what it means to me.
You always have someone to tag team and hit on some unsuspecting freshmen with. If you have a bad day at class or a bad day at work and just feel like drowning your sorrows in a thirty rack of keystone you have 100 best friends that would love to help you finish that rack. Also in terms of living conditions you will always have people to live with if you don’t live in the large fraternity house. If you do live in that large fraternity house you are literally the happiest person on this Earth, much like in “Bruce Almighty” when he got God’s powers. Nothing quite prepares you for living with 30-40 of your best friends in the same household. It’s much like a played down version of the movie “Animal House.” There are girls running in and out of rooms and booze flowing like the goddamn Nile river. You will literally never have a better living arrangement unless you take old Barry Obama’s job at the White House.
Another huge perk of having this sense of brotherhood is that, there is a huge chance that you will have classes with people in your fraternity or take classes that people have already taken. This is fucking huge! Having a large group of people to study with just makes it that much easier to do well in your classes. Also if you have someone who has already taken that class it’s fairly easy to say that nobody throws away their tests in a fraternity so you can just study the past test and catch an easy A. Some people will say that’s cheating, I would say that it is just being innovative and using all of the materials around to to get a better grade. I’m sorry your nark, goober, GDI ass studied for 10 hours and got a B and I skimmed over it this morning while eating Frosted Flakes and got an A…..Rush next semester pussy.
Something that is always beneficial about the brotherhood is when you’re being a complete prick to people at the bars. There is always that moment when you are fresh at being 21 and in turn get real pirate drunk at the bars. You will be stumbling around like good old Jack Sparrow and try to fight some juiced ass Stone Cold Steve Austin looking motherfucker that will literally beat your face into a mushy pulp. Your fraternity brothers see what’s coming and step in. That’s when Mr. Roid Rage decides that he can’t take all 20 of you and decides to piss off. I like to call that “The time frat saved your life.” There is always that moment during your senior year when you’re having a few casual beers with your boys and you think “Holy shit these are the guys that are going to be my best men at my wedding.” That’s the real essence of brotherhood within a fraternity.
2. Intramural Sports
I know what you’re thinking, “Why the hell is this one on the list? You don’t have to be in a fraternity to play intramural sports?” This is true you don’t have to be, but the way fraternities do intramural sports is the best thing since Kim Kardashian’s butt. Playing on an intramural sports team for your fraternity is one of the most exciting, loud and intense moments of your college career. It is best case because you get to live out your failed high school sports dreams. I promise you, you will never play in front of a closer and louder audience of people in your entire life. You always have the extra nudge to try harder and to be better because of your 100 best friends screaming bloody murder on the sidelines and the smoking hot sorority girls chanting your name. When scoring the game winning goal, bucket or touchdown and having your brothers storm the pitch is one of the best feelings in the world. The best thing about winning a big game against one of your rival fraternities is that you know for sure that you and the boys are going to get shit wasted that night in celebration. The best way that I like to describe any intramural team is kind of like the movie, “The Replacements” where Shane Falco, a washed up quarterback takes a team of losers and boozers to the NFL playoffs. Also being on a winning fraternity intramural team is a nice way to get some sorority ass.
While being on the actual intramural team is really cool and fun, another great thing about intramurals is being shit wasted on the sidelines cheering your fraternity on. The nights usually start about two hours before the intramural games starts with splendid booze filled events such as endless games of beer pong, civil war, and shots of some dark whiskey. The reason for this is you have to get real boozed up to yell some hateful things at the opposing team. A way to picture this happening would be to watch a scene from the movie “Beerfest”. After you and the boys get real liquored up (and I mean so boozed that you should probably not go because of your fatal alcohol levels), you will start yelling some chants as you walk down the streets to the intramural fields. You guys are probably a few minutes late because a couple of you had to stop to pee on the side of the road. Once you get there you instantly start belittling the other team by saying things like “Hey number 10 you have a sister don’t cha? Yeah I dicked her, it was real nice!” or something like “Hey number 13 your parents fucking hate you and you’re adopted!” Many of your chants will be a bit over the line, but that usually doesn’t matter to you since you can barely stand. The best feeling is when someone on the other team is playing bad and you can tell that you are starting to get under their skin. That’s when you and the boys verbally attack him like he is the fat kid at band camp. All in all intramural sports fucking rock. Getting pirate drunk on a weekday to scream some over the line obscenities at someone you don’t even know is the bee’s knees.
Obviously you joined a fraternity to party. You have heard the stories whether it’s from some older guys that you went to high school with or from the news. If there’s one thing you’re certain of going into college is that fraternities rage. And you’re not wrong for thinking that at all. Fraternity parties are like a baby sized Hugh Hefner playboy mansion party except with more clothes and less wrinkly skin. Some of the best things happen at your fraternity parties. You will see some things that you never thought that you would ever see in your life. Nothing quite prepares you for when you see your first lesbian experience (It’s fucking awesome.) You and the boys will just be crushing shots with a group of girls making small talk and maybe a bit of dancing. You suddenly look around and see that you don’t have enough boys for this group of sexy chicks. You and the boys in turn pick out the hottest ones and start hitting on them. Everyone is dancing and taking shots and the next thing you know the two girls dancing together just start making out. That is when you grab a hold of the boys and really just enjoy the show. It’s like going to France and looking at the Mona Lisa. You just have to take a second to enjoy what you’re looking at.
Another wonderful thing about fraternity parties is the endless amount of sorority girls that just keep flowing through the doors. It kind of depends on which school you go to, but any school on the West coast and few school on the East coast have some drop dead gorgeous women. Along with the gorgeous chicks is the endless flow of booze at the parties. There is never a time where you’re in the middle of a raging party and next thing you know all the booze is gone and everything has gone to shit. Fraternity parties will always be well stocked with some cheap poisonous booze to fill up your liquor lust. Usually Fraternity houses have enough booze in the hose to sedate a large bear.
Another thing about fraternity parties that you really just love is the reckless smashing of breakable objects at the end of a party. Every party comes down at about 3-4 a.m. and all the girls have either been swooped up by one of your brothers or have gone home. It is at this point you and the boys start finishing the rest of the alcohol until there isn’t a single drop left. With a group of you guys slowly reaching severe wet brain you guys think ‘what the hell let’s start smashing these bottles.’ People think, ‘Wow what children they are smashing bottles.’ They are wrong as fuck. If you have ever thrown an empty glass bottle 50-yards in any direction trying to hit something you are going to have the time of your life. It always starts with the bottles. Then you find yourself smashing holes in the walls and doors, basically anything that you think you can break. You wake up in the morning and think, “What the fuck happened here? I looks like a goddamn Siberian tiger was in here tearing shit up.” All in all it’s all good fun and memories.
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